So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
