Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
