I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
