I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
