omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
We had to coat check the pizza.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
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