if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
