dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
I think your dad took our porno
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
