Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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