My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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