Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
