i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
