i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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