can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
It was like getting head from an anaconda
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
