We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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