i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
