Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
