that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
