Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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