u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Randomize
