I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
