thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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