that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
