she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
