Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
