Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Randomize