whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
True strength comes from lack of pants
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize