if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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