UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
she told me i tasted like america
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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