you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
