my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Randomize
