Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
