My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
