Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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