Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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