I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I am naked and annoyed.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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