She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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