Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
