My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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