butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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