So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
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