i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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