Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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