mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
