Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
