I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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