I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
