The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
