how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
