I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
