Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
i out mim tonsoeep
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize