that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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