Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
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