yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize