when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
