Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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