maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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