Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
