This is not my ceiling
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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