the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
