It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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