Joe is yelling at the trees again.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
