They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
