Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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