wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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