yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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